{"id":78514,"date":"2025-12-07T17:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/?p=78514"},"modified":"2025-12-08T09:30:54","modified_gmt":"2025-12-08T09:30:54","slug":"in-the-shadow-of-a-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/in-the-shadow-of-a-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"In the Shadow of a Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cEvery parent wants their child to be educated\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After finishing the twelfth grade, Nurije\u2019s daughter stayed at home, accompanied by memories from school desks. These follow her everywhere, along with the unrealized dream of continuing university.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who, after the death of her husband, remained the only pillar of the family, lives only with Arta, who had developmental delays after birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lifetime spent together\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mother of four daughters and one son lives in fear that after she dies, no one will take care of her youngest child, her 34-year-old daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only help the state offers is 120 euros, which she had to pursue for years even through legal channels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She waited four years to hear even a single word from Arta, but in vain. At that time, she had little information about the situation and did not even know where to take her for treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUntil Arta was two years old, we didn\u2019t notice anything. When she turned two, we realized she could hear, even when she was outside and I called her, we knew she could hear. My husband was in Germany at that time, and with her father, I took her to a doctor through the newspaper for children who do not speak. I took her, and the doctor told me \u2018she won\u2019t speak for four years,\u2019 and for four years she didn\u2019t say a single word. The doctor told me that when she begins to speak, she will speak very rarely.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nurije Avdyli, 66, from Drenas, has lived in the \u201cDardania\u201d neighborhood in the capital since the post-war period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cases where she speaks about her life are rare, even though her face clearly shows the suffering she has experienced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen I didn\u2019t take her back to the doctor, because he had already told me, and I couldn\u2019t register her in first grade because of the war. The situation worsened because the war started in Drenas, then Prekaz and other places. When the war ended, we came here to Pristina because everything had been removed from the apartment. I took her to the speech therapist at the hospital for six months, twice a week. He told me to send her to the special school \u2018P\u00ebrparimi\u2019. I sent her for three years, because at first there was no transportation. After three years, the bus came, picked her up, and took her to school.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mother Nurije keeps her eyes always on Arta, afraid that someone might take advantage of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt has been very hard because I was worried since she is a girl, and I worried about my son too, but a son is different, a daughter is different. These were very difficult times. I don\u2019t let her go out alone, not because she doesn\u2019t know, but the situation is such that you fear to go out.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The state provides only a 120-euro pension, which is not enough for anything. For living expenses, they are helped by other family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c120 euros is the pension. If we didn\u2019t have the son and daughter abroad, we wouldn\u2019t have managed at all.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nurije\u2019s husband died fifteen years ago. Since then, she has devoted all her time to her 34-year-old daughter. Arta is very independent, but she cannot manage without a companion, Nurije says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cArta\u2019s pension was stopped when she turned 18. She received it for three years, and then it was stopped. I went to social services seven times, and they told me I had no proof. I said, \u2018I brought her in a wheelchair, maybe that\u2019s proof.\u2019 For eight years, she didn\u2019t receive a pension. I sent the documents to court, and then I won the case, and she has been receiving the pension for two years now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman, around seventy years old, has gone several times to markets and shops to inquire about employment for Arta, but without success. Her difficulties in speaking prevent her from working, as Nurije explains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn Dardania, markets and shops are very close. I inquired about employing Arta, talking to managers. Her only problem is that she does not speak all words, leaving some incomplete.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arta Avdyli attended the Resource Center for Learning and Counseling \u201cP\u00ebrparimi\u201d until twelfth grade. Her physical education teacher noticed her abilities exceeded all limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cArta is exceptional in athletics, basketball, and football. In regional competitions, she won at least five to six gold medals in running. In football, she won 10\u201315 medals.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she wears one around her neck, Arta\u2019s face shines like the silver medal she once earned. Dozens of others prove her extraordinary abilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was very easy to notice Arta Avdyli\u2019s skills because after regional and national competitions, in regional events we always won from simple activities like running and jumping. With Arta, I noticed her speed skills \u2014 speed is innate. That\u2019s why in her first competition in 2007 in China, Arta returned with a silver medal, which made us very happy. Over time, when men played football in competitions, she wanted to join, and in the Special Olympics, both women and men are allowed to play together. Arta showed extraordinary football talent.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her success came entirely by chance, her mother says, adding that she never had the opportunity to enroll her in more activities. Nurije lives with the regret that if they had better financial conditions, her daughter could have achieved more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe she could have achieved even more, but the conditions weren\u2019t there. We didn\u2019t have the means\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel very good when I think about the first time Arta went to China. We were all amazed when they told me they would take Arta. There is nothing from the state. For these children, something must be done. Even the companion should be paid, not just the child. For these children, there is nothing from the state, nothing at all. Every parent wants their children to be educated and employed. Even at 34 years old, you still have to follow her, because you have no peace of mind. If she goes out alone, I feel very bad.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nurije Avdyli
September 2025<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cEvery parent wants their child to be educated\u201d\u2026 After finishing the twelfth grade, Nurije\u2019s daughter stayed at home, accompanied by memories from school desks. These follow her everywhere, along with the unrealized dream of continuing university. The woman who, after the death of her husband, remained the only pillar of the family, lives only with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":78515,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[298],"tags":[6986,7077,7076],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78514"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78514"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78514\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":78517,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78514\/revisions\/78517"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/78515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kosovapress.com\/eng\/admin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}